An Ordaining Moment
By Rev. Mahan Siler, former pastor, Pullen Memorial Baptist Church, Raleigh

Persons of same-sex orientation face an excruciating question: will I or will I not “come out of the closet”?  If “yes,” then --- when, with whom and how?

As a pastor in Raleigh, I was faced with a similar dilemma: will I “come out of the closet,” declaring openly a welcome to GLBT persons who have felt unwelcome, if not condemned, by the church? My decision crystallized on August 12, 1987 at a public hearing on violence against lesbians and gay men. The Human Relations Council of Raleigh wanted to recommend that “sexual orientation” be added to the city’s non-discrimination ordinance. I was unprepared for the impact of this hearing upon my ministry. I tell the story in my book, Exile or Embrace? Congregations Discerning
Their Response to Gay and Lesbian Christians, pg. 23:

What a night!

At the public hearing tonight my name is placed at the end of the docket, requiring me to sit through over two hours of testimony.  Most of the witnesses are lesbians and gay men who, at considerable risk, report specific acts of violence and discrimination against them. Typical are stories of police abuse, loss of children, unfair job evaluations, lack of employment opportunities, and dismissals for trumped up reasons. Two or three of these stories I could have managed. However, being one of the last ones to speak, I had to sit through story after story after story. The crescendo effect from back-to-back testimonies eventually broke through my well-honed defenses.

Most disturbing are their experiences with the church, especially from preachers.  Witnesses speak of pulpit messages that declare homosexuality as sin, an “abomination” before God, worthy of punishment. Even the feelings of homosexual attraction could warrant the wrath of God.  Tonight there was no wiggle room left for sidestepping a conviction that’s been forming within me. An alternative message from the church, especially from preachers, must be voiced publicly, and this voice must be as compelling as the messages these witnesses have internalized.

It was an ordaining moment.

The process of “coming out” continued. I wrote an editorial for the local newspaper about the council hearing and made other public stands for explicit gay inclusion in the church. Increasingly, the Pullen Memorial congregation became a safe, welcoming place for GLBT persons and their families, fostering friendships across sexual orientation lines.  Then, in the fall of 1991, two gay men came to me requesting a service of blessing upon their commitment to each other.  I presented their request and the possibility of this additional ritual to the lay leadership of the church and gave it my support. After weeks of intense soul searching, they in turn went to the congregation with a recommendation that such a ritual of blessing be part of our liturgical life.

The congregation, in the midst of public controversy, entered into a two-month process of discernment that issued into a near unanimous welcome of gay Christians into full membership, as well as a two-thirds majority of members affirming the covenant ceremony between couples of the same gender orientation. To our surprise, this “coming out” of our congregation became a “light set on a lamp stand,” giving light throughout the larger church and nation --- a light that was a disturbing glare to some, while a warm, revealing witness to others.

The ordaining moment in 1987 opened a door, and led me, and eventually our congregation, down a path toward joys beyond our imagining.