“THEY ARE MY FRIENDS” 

Being a part of a church family is important to me.  Church is where I go to learn about God and to be around people who know God.  I learn about ways to serve God and how to live my life in the way that God wants me to.  Church is also where I have met many of my closest friends.

 

As a person with cerebral palsy, I have had both good and bad experiences at church.  It’s hard for me to do a lot of things that are easy for most people.  I have trouble walking, and my balance is not good.  My speech is hard for people to understand.  I am also at risk for choking, so somebody has to be with me whenever I eat.  People who want to relate to me have to take extra time and effort.

 

When I was a child, I mostly lived with my Grandma.  She took me to her church every week, but I did not always feel welcome.  People in the church did not know how to relate to me.  Sometimes they acted like I wasn’t there.  They did not talk to me or take the time to try to understand me when I talked.  I felt like I was trouble to them.  I was not able to do a lot of the activities that the other children did, so I was not included.  I just stayed around my Grandma and felt bad about how things were.

 

When I was a teenager, I lived at O’Berry Center in Goldsboro, in foster homes, and with my Grandma.  When I was with her, she continued taking me to church.  By this time, the people had learned more about me and were more comfortable around me.  The other teenagers in the church started including me in some of their activities.  They would hug me when they saw me and invite me to go out with them.  I felt a lot more welcome and important.

 

At the age of 21, I moved to Raleigh into a new group home run by United Cerebral Palsy.   People at my Grandma’s church told me that I should visit North Haven Church when I got to Raleigh.  I have been an active member there for the past 20 years.  The people at my church include me in everything and treat me like I am as important as everybody else.  They are my friends, and I know I can call them if I need help.

 

-They talk to me, and they take the time to try to understand what I am saying.

-The building is accessible, so I can get around where I want to go.  

-I get to be a part of all the church’s activities: Sunday School, worship services, and Wednesday night Bible study.  If there is a church business meeting, I can go and help make decisions.  If there is a retreat or a revival, I am part of that, too.

-People in the church support causes that are important to me.  They give to fundraising activities for the agencies that provide support for me. And they have asked me to speak during Sunday services, to tell them about disabilities and my work as a self-advocate.

-People at my church give me a chance to serve alongside them.  I give an offering every week, and I help with church activities whenever I can.  

 

Since I joined North Haven, there have been a lot of changes in my life.  I moved out of the group home and into a place of my own, with a roommate.  I have some staff who help me during the day so that I can live as independently as possible.  My Grandma and other relatives have died, and I have had to deal with other stressful events.  Through all of these things, my pastor and the people in the church have prayed for me and supported me.

 

One family used to take me to church every Sunday.  We would go out to eat, and then they brought me back home.  They have moved to Florida, and now they invite me to visit them every year.  Another family in the church used to give me a ride home from my job so that I didn’t have to take the bus, which was very hard for me, or pay for a cab. 

 

Many people in my church have helped me over the years.  I am thankful to God for them, and I am grateful to be a part of this church family.

 

BY ROSE REAVES, NORTH HAVEN CHURCH, RALEIGH

 

Rose Reaves lives and works in Raleigh.  She is an active self-advocate and has served in many leadership roles to speak on behalf of people with disabilities.